How I Proposed to My Wife and What's the Next Recipe?

So today marks a major milestone... My wife has officially put up with my $#!& for 7 years.

Yes, today is our seven year anniversary and I thought I should post about my greatest food inspiration, Liz.

Why is she my muse in the kitchen?  Well, she's willing to try almost anything I create.  Even if it's a little out of the ordinary (translated as WEIRD).  And she's truthful in her opinions.  If something I make is truly horrible, I want to hear that.  She's more than willing to be brutally honest in the nicest way possible.  Compromise, Honesty and Love, what more could you ask for!

I knew that we were meant to be about 2 months into our relationship. And she definitely felt the same.  She had told me a few weeks after I proposed that she new that I was the guy she was going to marry after the night I cooked her Chicken Parmesan.  So after dating for about 9 months, back in the late summer of '04, I knew it was time.

Now I know how important a good proposal story is when the ladies are conversing amongst themselves.  No matter how much they will deny it, this conversation will always degrade to everyone's cat-fight-inducing contest: My Man Loves Me More.  Just like it does on Valentine's Day (see my post about that), Christmas, etc. Soon to be grooms, please take note.  If you start of the marriage with a great proposal, the rest of the marriage will be that much better.

Now when you're scoring this version of My Man Loves Me More, each proposal is measured in four different categories....

Creativity:  The best proposals are out of the ordinary.  Something that hasn't been done over and over again.  Unlike proposing in front of the family at a major holiday or dropping down on one knee at a sporting event.  It can't be that original if the scoreboard operator has a standard chiron to place under your image on the Jumbotron.

Customization:  The proposal should play on or feature some of her favorite things.  If it's done during one of her favorite activities or it features food, flowers, entertainment or an activity she loves, you're doing it right.

Memorability:  The best proposals evolve in a way that a great story can be told.  You want to give her enough information that she can build it up into an epic poem.  Something that can be recited over and over again like a Shakespearean sonnet and retold by those who hear it as if it were a fable.  In other words, make it legen-------wait for it-------dary. Because if it takes her 3+ minutes to tell this story to the gaggle of females gathered around her, compared to the "Well, he got down on one knee next to that fountain over there" girl (who is usually a bitch anyway), she'll score all sorts of bonus points.  And if you can give her some physical evidence to show off, even better.

Surprise Factor:  Even if you have taken her to the jewelry stores, even if you've started to talk about wedding dates that would work for the out-of-town family, even if she knows that you must propose in the next three days before you leave town for business for two weeks (which was the case for me), you have to do it in a way that causes her to involuntarily throw her hands up and clasp them over mouth in genuine surprise.  If you've done the first three items in this list well, this fourth item happens on its own.

So since I wanted Liz to win the competition every single time, I did my damnedest to make this was a one-in-a-million proposal.

We had been looking at rings for a week or two and I was scheduled to leave town in three days.  I just received the custom built ring I ordered, so I decided we would have a picnic dinner up at Red Butte Garden.  I picked up a little fried chicken, her favorite chocolates and a bottle of our favorite white wine, the Chateau Ste. Michele Reisling.  After packing up the meal into my picnic backpack (which I HIGHLY recommend, and also available in my Amazon store), we hiked through the gardens.  I lead her down a sidehill through a overgrown trail to a small clearing in the canyon surrounded by the tall trees and bordered by the gurgling creek.  I spread out the blanket, set up the meal, lit the votives and began to serve.

Now Liz is a bright woman.  She can figure out most of my plots rather quickly.  It was the perfect place to propose.  Her favorite wine and chocolates were being hand-fed to her.  The setting sun beamed through the leaves of the surrounding forest, dancing through the crystal wine glasses.  The warm, late summer air would occasionally be overrun by the slightly chilled breeze wafting over the creek.  Romance was in the air.

We consumed the meal over a great deal of laughing and wine.  Then I stood her up.  I looked deep into her eyes and told her how much I loved her.  How she changed my life and I couldn't possibly be more happy.  I gave her a long sensual kiss, got down on one knee.... and packed up the plates, remaining food and garbage into the backpack and we walked back up the hill.

Yeah... you read that right, we left...

Liz looked at me as if I was insane.  I had the perfect mood, why in the hell didn't I propose right then and there?!?!?  Sure, it would have been romantic, but proposing right after a picnic?  Where's the originality?  Where's the spontaneity?   Where's the story?  And she knew if I did anything overly romantic that a proposal would soon follow, so I had to throw her off the trail.  I had a plan.  And it was helped by a completely random event.  My brother called me out of the blue as we ascended the hill, asking me to join a poker game that night.  I immediately said, "Sure, be there in an hour", knowing full well I'd need to call him back in 10 minutes to cancel.  This unplanned event sealed it in Liz's mind, the proposal was not coming tonight.

We began to wander through the trails of the lower gardens.  I had brought my SLR camera and tripod so we could take a few photos of the grounds.  We took a couple pictures of the waterfalls, a few of the boathouse and then we reached the tree arches.  It's an area where all of the trees have curved over the trail, forming a perfect tunnel overhead.  I told her that I wanted a picture of the trees in the setting sun, so I set up the tripod.  This way I could remove any focus issues caused by my shaking, nervous hand.  I clicked a few shots as a distraction, then I asked her to pose in the arch.  As she walked away, I pulled the box holding the ring out of my camera bag and slid it into my pocket.

She turned and posed a few times, and I urged her on like Austin Powers in his photo shoots.  She laughed a bit, because I was being entirely too weird.  But then I suggested we should get a shot of us together before we lost the light.  She agreed, of course, so I set up the timer.  It was all I could do to steady my finger long enough to hit the trigger on the camera.  I had counted out that timer 20 times that day to make sure I had it perfectly in my head.  I walked up as nonchalantly as possible to not blow my cover.  The entire time, I'm counting down in my head....

1....   Don't accidentally kick the tripod as you pass....

2...  Wow, the remaining sunlight is making her form pop against the green of the trees...

3... Come on... breathe...

4...  Hey, a squirrel... No, wait! Focus!

5...  Don't laugh because you're nervous, you'll blow your cover...

6...   I said BREATHE, you only get one shot at this...

7...  Almost there, she's got such a great smile...

8...  OK... grab her hand and don't squeeze to hard.

9...   "Hey Honey, I know what would make this picture even better...."

10...  I dropped to one knee and extracted the ring box from my pocket.

*click*

And it worked perfectly.  I caught the exact moment she realized what was happening on digital film for her to have for the rest of her life.  She did say yes... thank GOD.  We embraced and laughed for a good two minutes. And then she punched me in the shoulder.  "I wondered why you didn't propose down by the creek," she said.  "I mean, you set the mood and everything!  As we walked up the trail I was thinking, 'You blew it Johnson'!"

The plan worked perfectly.  And my brother was the first one to know as I called to cancel for poker.

My goal was not only to propose, but to give her one of the best stories you can re-tell, giving her a 93% chance of winning the My Man Loves Me More contest.    It's creative, not many people have used the old fake-out proposal-turned-surprise-proposal bit.   I built the customized fake proposal with all of her favorite things, then had to take it an extra step to fool Liz the Super Genius.  Memorability?  Well, she can keep that photo on her phone for the rest of her life.  And she can retell the story down to the second at a moment's notice.  And yes... she was VERY surprised.

I had a great time pulling off the proposal and Liz has just as great of a time re-telling it, especially to snotty women who were proposed to over the Jumbotron.

And the real reason I did it... She DESERVED something special.  She's such a wonderful woman, I a was so lucky to have her in my life, she deserved and absolutely unique and memorable experience.  Luckily it all worked out perfectly.

I think I did a good job.  Some others thought I did too.  BrideAccess.com (called Utahbrides.com back then) ran a Best Proposal contest and we were one of the finalists.  While we didn't win (because the winner was chosen by a random drawing), the proposal earned us a free wedding night room at a great secluded hotel in Midway, a free limousine for the wedding day, and about 2 or 4 other freebies that saved us a ton of cash.

So Liz, I just wanted you to know that these past 7 years have been the best years of my life.  My life is infinitely better than it could have ever been without you.  You're the light of my life, the core of my being and the best mother I could ever have for our three little boys.  I love you more than you'll ever know.  Thank you for putting up with me for the past 7 years and I truly hope I've earned enough karma in my life that the fates will give you the strength to tolerate me for decades more.

In honor of her and so you could possibly mimic the proposal dinner, I'm posting my recipe for Fried Chicken in my next post.   As for our anniversary night, I'm cooking whatever Liz's heart desires tonight.   And doing whatever she wants afterwards.  It may be cleaning, dusting and vacuuming the boys' room, but I'm hoping for something a little different.