Stuffed Chicken Parmesan... or How I Convinced My Wife to Marry Me

So we just passed the 7th anniversary of my third date with Liz.   Why do I remember this date so well?  It's the first time I cooked for her.  And it was a milestone in our relationship, which I will explain later.

So on our first two dates, Liz and I shut down two different restaurants.  We became those annoying people who would just sit at a table and talk and talk and talk until the waiters started turning out lights.  Sorry, but when you're having that good of a conversation and you become absolutely captivated by every word she says, you lose track of time.  I was definitely into this girl.  How could I tell?  I had the following conversation with my brother in law, no lie...

B-I-L: So it she pretty?

Me:  She's gorgeous!

B-I-L: So does she have big boobs?

Me: She... um... I have no idea.

Yes, she was so intriguing I did not check her out.  Someone that interesting deserved a third date and instead of inflicting another one-tip night upon another waiter, I offered to cook for her at my house.   She agreed, but I found out later that her mother asked Liz to give her my name, address and phone number, just in case she had to come looking for the serial killer who had her missing daughter.

So I prepared this meal.  Took my time because I wanted to have everything right.  I had made just a basic Chicken Parmesan before, but decided to stuff it with cheeses and use a homemade marinara sauce.  As sides, I did a basic salad with homemade Italian dressing, and french bread with a roasted garlic butter spread.  And of course, did the whole spread.  Candles, tablecloth (well, the somewhat old and out of style one I had), and a couple dozen roses.

(slight diversion here) And NOT red roses.  Two tips to all men out there:  First, red roses are for amateurs.  Everyone gives red roses because they "symbolize love" and the florists can and will charge more for them, especially around Valentine's Day. Well, unless your lady really likes the color red, it would behoove you to find out what she likes and buy those colors instead.  Nowadays, there are multiple shades and flowers with blended colors.  Some of Liz's favorites are Circus Roses, that go from almost a fire red petal tip to deep orange to a yellow-orange center.  Take the time to find out what she likes, it'll show you put more thought into the gift.

Second, don't buy them at a florist.  If you work a little harder, you can make flowers mean a lot more.  Buy your flowers at one of the warehouse stores.  Now hear me out... Liz and I ran a flower business for a few years so we have some experience here.  Costco receives a good deal of their flowers directly from the growers instead of going through a middle man, so they are fresher and, therefore, will last longer.  You never know how long flowers have been sitting in a cooler at a flower shop.  And you'll get more flowers for the same amount of money.  When you get her flowers for the first time, buy a nice vase.  Not a cheap plain vase, something crystal, porcelain, etc., something that is out of the ordinary.  It can be anything that looks nice, just don't let it be the $3.00 plastic variety.  Fill it half full with water and add/mix in the flower food they supply.  Then use a pair of scissors to trim off the bottom inch of each of the stems while you hold them underwater.  The flowers will now absorb the water quickly and they will live for 2-3 weeks.  Give her the flowers and vase, bathe in the appreciation, then collect the vase when the flowers eventually die.  Make that vase meaningful by always giving her flowers in it over and over again.  Do it on her birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day (when that becomes appropriate) and at least three times a year just for the hell of it. Trust me, it'll mean a great deal to her.

Anyway, I had the entire scene set for her arrival with the chicken coming out of the oven just as she arrived and for once, one of my romantic plans worked out perfectly.  Not only did the food turn out just right (no burning, YAY!) but everything happened just as it should.  Well almost everything... At one point, Dudley, my little "special needs" kitty jumped onto the table, flicked his tail through the candle's flame and promptly singed the hair off the tip.  Luckily, he didn't become a flaming ball of fur running through the house, but after putting the flame out with a napkin, we both had a good laugh.

Now how was this night a milestone?  Why was this night momentous?  Well, as we were preparing for our wedding, someone asked us how we met and to tell some of our stories.  Liz related the stories of this evening and how she was absolutely amazed at my cooking and romantic nature.  She said, "From that night forward, I knew that I would marry this man."  Yes, I scored a wife with my cooking... Her mother verified this.  She related how Liz called her Mom on the way home and how she said she was completely insane to have this thought after a third date.  Well, I met Cindy a few days after the date, allayed her fears and we all lived happily blah, blah, blah...  

So here is the recipe I used on that fateful night, except for the pepperoni.  Liz recommended I add that and it really added some flavor.  I'd highly recommend going for the larger deli-sliced pepperoni.  It makes the stuffing much easier to do and usually it's cheaper to buy 4 slices from the deli than buying a whole package of small slices.  I happen to like the deli pepperoni's taste more as well.

Stuffed Chicken Parmesan

Serves 4

4 skinless boneless chicken breasts

1/2 cup ricotta cheese

1/2 cup parmesan cheese 

1/2 cup mix of Italian cheeses of your choice

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

1 tsp basil

4 large deli slices of pepperoni or 16 pizza slices

Bottle of either olive or canola oil
5 tablespoons corn starch
2 eggs
1 cup milk
2 cups Italian style bread crumbs
8 ounces mozzarella
Favorite marinara sauce (use my recipe if you want)

In a mixing bowl, mix together the ricotta, parmesan, Italian cheeses, Italian seasoning, and basil until combined.

Using a meat mallet, hammer, can of tomatoes, or whatever weapon you may have, take your frustrations out on the chicken breasts, pounding them down until they are about 1/2 thick.  Take a sharp knife and cut into the breast from one side, creating a pocket inside.

If you have the large deli pepperoni, take a portion of the cheese and spice mixture  that would fit into the chicken breast's pocket and wrap the large pepperoni slice around it like a taco.  Insert the pepperoni and cheese into the pocket of chicken breast, open taco side first. this will help keep the cheese inside while cooking.  If you have the smaller pepperoni, line the pocket with the pepperoni and then stuff the cheese inside.  Seal the chicken breasts one of two ways: use toothpicks and remember to remove them after frying, or use a long piece of spaghetti like a long toothpick to knit it closed.  Leave the extra spaghetti sticking out so it's easier to remove later.

Next the fry prep.  Gather three bowls and a cooling rack.  Place the cornstarch in the first bowl.  Combine the eggs and milk in the second bowl.  Place the breadcrumbs in the third bowl and place the cooling rack next to it.  Do the following one chicken breast at a time.  Roll the chicken in the cornstarch until a light layer sticks to the breast.  Next, completely dredge the breast through the egg/milk mixture so it is covered, then lay it in the third bowl with the breadcrumbs.  Scoop the breadcrumbs over the breast.  Make sure the entire surface is covered in the breadcrumbs, then place it on the cooling rack.  Repeat with all the chicken breasts and let them sit for 10 minutes so the breading sets.  This will prevent the breading from flaking off in the oil.

While waiting, fill a large saute pan with enough oil to come 1/4 - 3/8 inch up the sides and heat it to 325-340 degrees.  Also preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  Using tongs so you don't burn your fingers, place two of the chicken breasts in the oil.  Cook for 5 minutes per side, making sure every so often that the side doesn't burn.  When removing the breasts, place them on a cooling rack lined with paper towels so the extra oil can drip off.  Remove your toothpicks or break off your spaghetti (whatever stays in the breast willbecome extremely soft and presents no chance of impalement).  After letting them rest for 5 minutes after cooking, lay slices of mozzerella  and shredded parmesan over the top of the breasts and then place them in an oven safe dish.  Put the dish in the oven for 15 minutes to thoroughly melt the cheeses (and to give you time to work on the other accent dishes, like thin spaghetti, salad, veggies, garlic bread, etc).  Finally, remove them from the oven, place them on a plate and cover in marinara sauce (see my earlier recipes for a great homemade sauce) and grated cheese for decoration.  You can use any combination of parmesan, italian and mozzerella you choose.

When you have a special occasion and some time to prepare, try this recipe out and see if it inspires promises of eternal love.  It did for me. :-)