Pulled Pork Sandwiches Without a Smoker

When I used to work downtown, at least one a month, we'd escape the skyline during lunch and scream down 7th East to Sugarhouse.  It is the home of one of the best barbecue joints in America (which I will be reviewing soon).  Sugarhouse Barbecue Company was the destination; a mecca of smoked meat where the pork would fall off the bone.  A place where you could douse said protein in a variety of sauces that would seep into your skin.  Your fingertips would still smell like chili powder rub and tangy and thick barbecue sauce for two days after the meal.

I'd always order the pulled pork sandwich and smother it in the classic thick and sweet barbecue sauce.  Add a side of cornbread stuffing, some collared greens, a slice of cornbread and a pickle, and I wouldn't have to eat for the rest of day. 

I work just far enough away now that it's all I can do to make it there and back in an hour.  But on that special occasion, I'll still make the drive.

Pulled pork doesn't have to be a sometimes food.  You can make your own at home.  Admittedly, it probably isn't going to be that beautifully cooked roast, smoked for hours until it's tender.  I'd love to show you how to smoke a great pork roast, but I have two problems.  First, I don't have smoker in my back yard.  Maybe I'll have the $1,000+ sometime in the future to but one, but not today.  And second, even if I did, I don't have the 10+ hours to tend the fire.  Few of us do.  So instead, we need to find a way to do a nice slow cook of the roast so it reaches that magic temperature where the meat falls off the bone. 

And what better way to cook low and slow than with your crock pot.  Yes, it won't be smoked.  But we can almost duplicate the tenderness by cooking it for 8+ hours.

There's a couple specific cuts of meat that works perfectly for pulled pork.  What you're looking for is going to be called a picnic roast, or a pork shoulder roast, or a Boston Butt roast (which is nowhere near the butt of the pig, it's the front shoulder),  This roast has some great meat in it, but it also has a good deal of fat and collagen.  So after a nice long, slow crock pot cooking, it'll melt away into a molten pool of fat and gelatin and the remaining meat will shred up easily.

One other step is involved, spicing it up.  With most meat smoking, a blend of spices are rubbed on the surface and the slow heat allows it to crust over and create an outer shell.  Crock Pot cooking does not do that, but a slow simmer in a blend of fluids and spices can get a similar caramelized look and a similar taste.  First, we need to create a spice rub for the meat.  If we rub it on the meat and let it sit in the fridge overnight, it'll extract a little bit of moisture, but it will also penetrate into the outer layer of the meat.  Second, I've found that you can get that caramelized flavor and color by cooking it in cola.  Yes... you're using a soda as a cooking medium.  The sugars in the soda seep into the outer layer of the meat and as it cooks over time, and the slight acidity of the cola will help break down the meat into an easily pulled pile of pork.

The best part of this recipe: it's ready to eat when you walk in the door that night.  Yes, there is prep work involved at the beginning of the cooking process, but very little to do at the end.  Just lift the roast out, shred it in a couple of minutes, and garnish with some potato chips for one of the fastest and flavorful dinners you'll ever make in ten minutes.

Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Makes about 8-10 sandwiches

1 4-5 pound pork picnic roast, pork shoulder roast, or Boston Butt roast

Rub ingredients
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoons cayenne pepper
1 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoons ground cumin
2 1/2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon dried oregano
2 tablespoons paprika
1 tablespoons table salt
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder.

Crock Pot Ingredients
32 ounces cola of your choice
3 cloves garlic, smashed
½ teaspoon liquid smoke (optional)


Add all of the spice ingredients to a bowl and thoroughly mix.  Place the roast on a large plate and rub 1/2 if the mixture onto the meat.  Cover with plastic wrap and leave in the fridge overnight. 

The next morning, place the roast in your crock pot and pour in the cola.  Sprinkle the rest of the rub mix, along with the garlic and the liquid smoke into the cola and stir.  Turn the crock pot to low and allow to cook for at least 8 hours.  If you are around, flip over the roast every 3 hours.  If you're not, no worries, it's an optional step.

When the cooking is done, extract the meat from the crock pot and shred into small bits using a pair of forks.  Serve immediately garnished with homemade barbecue sauce, or with some hot sauce, or some cole slaw if you want it the Southern way, or let cool, put into large ziploc bags and freeze for up to three months. 

So make your own pulled pork one night this week.  It's true that it's not smoked like Sugarhouse Barbecue, but this will definitely satiate the craving until you can visit it during a long lunch hour.

Homemade Barbecue Sauce

Can I tell you how frustrated I get with the secrecy of recipes?

OK, I can understand safeguarding a recipe that is your livelihood, like the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices (two of those spices are pepper and LOTS of salt) or Coke, even the New Coke recipe.

But I'm talking about home cooking and even the amateur contest competitors like me.  I'm talking about recipe hoarders who love revelling in the fact that they have somrthing you don't.  And the group of cooks that practice the highest level of espionage is the Barbecue crowd.

Just ask any backyard griller who thinks themselves an expert.  You'll hear those magic words, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you..."  HA HA HA HA HA!  That's hilario.. no... no it's not.  It's annoying.  It's kind of rude, and you're stepping dangerously close to our Jackassery category that we discussed back in our Geek vs. Nerd discussion.

Look, I can understand being proud of your creation and I can appreciate all of the work you put into finding your perfect balance in a barbecue sauce.  But if you're not going to share your knowledge with others, you're denying the world some desperately needed happiness.  Allow that recipe to flow through your group of friends and let them enjoy it even when you're not around.  If you're worried about not receiving credit, well, yeah, some other Jackass may claim that your recipe is theirs.  But more likely, they'll tell their family and friends about it and you'll get the credit.  Your recipes will become legend.

So let's buck the secrecy trend and publish my homemade barbecue sauce.  I think it has that perfect sticky consistency.  At room temperature, it's perfect for dipping your chicken strips, since it will adhere to every crevasse of the breading.  It spreads over your hamburger buns quite nicely.  If you slather some on a chicken breast as you're grilling, it'll loosen slightly to glaze over the entire piece of meat.

And while it does have a lot of ingredients, it's not that hard to make.  It requires a simmer and an occasional stir, but there's not much more you'll have to do. Prep the rest of the meal while you wait for it to simmer down, place some meat on the barbecue a few minutes before the sauce is done and you're all set.

Homemade Barbecue Sauce

Makes about 1+ cup after simmering down

Base
1 cup ketchup
1 1/2 tablespoons tomato paste
1/2 cup water
1/4 apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons mollasses

Spices
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 teapsoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (only if you want some heat)

The Rest
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon worchershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke
1/2 tablespoon buffalo wing sauce
1 teaspoon fresh lemon or lime juice (not the stuff in a bottle, squeeze a slice or two of the citrus)

Pour all of the base ingredients into a saucepan and place it over medium heat.  As it warms up, add all of the spices.  Once it's reached a boil, add the rest of the ingredients and reduce to a simmer.  Let it simmer on the lowest setting on your stove for 30 minutes, stirring every 4-5 minutes.  When the cooking time is done, use with any barbecuing you're doing.  If you're not using it immediately, place it in a container with a lid and refrigerate for up to a week.

So make a few cups of the sauce and please feel free to share the sauce and recipe will all your family and friends.  Trust me, I don't mind.

Buttermilk Fried Chicken

We all grew up with Chicken in a Bucket.  My favorite variety was the extra crispy.  I could eat that skin all day.  Now I wouldn't pull a Cartman and eat all of the skin off the pieces and discard all the meat.  I would, however, try to pick all the small breading bits that had been knocked off the pieces and had settled in the bottom of the bucket.

Nowadays, I'll still order the Colonel's chicken occasionally, but since the most prevalent spice in the combination of 11 herbs and spices is salt, I have to do it sparingly.  That is, unless I want to swell up like a Macy's Thanksgivings Parade balloon or have my heart get one of those warm involuntary water-retention hugs.

So I've tried making my own at home so I can control the amount of that number one spice.  And as long as you have a saute pan, a cast iron skillet, a dutch oven or a high-sided skillet, you can pan-fry up a batch for yourself.  With this recipe, it doesn't matter if you're using a whole chicken cut into sections or a bunch of boneless, skinless breasts.  Even if there is no skin, the breading will still form a perfect intact crust.

I have found that there are four secrets to good fried chicken...

1.  Soak it in buttermilk - It's just like any other marinade.  The buttermilk is slightly acidic, so a long soak of the chicken pieces will slightly tenderize the exterior, but it will infuse the chicken with whatever spices you add to the mix.  And it creates a great viscous coating on the chicken so the breading will stick like glue.

2.  Protect the tender spices - Some spices can endure high frying temperatures and some herbs will burn to a crisp.  And burnt spices only add a charcoal taste to the food.  These more delicate herbs need to have a barrier of protection so they'll do their duty when you crunch into it later.  So the best way to ensure survival is to let them stay sealed between the skin and the breading.  Sprinkle on those special herbs right before you shake on the flour breading.

3.  Shake off the excess - You're going to shake on the flour breading, and there's going to be a lot of flour that sticks directly to the chicken.  But there's also going to be some flour that just loosely hangs on.  If it stays there, it'll fall off when it hits the oil.  And extra flour in the oil with cook quickly and burn, turning your oil darker and the taste, well... burnier.  You can't prevent this from happening completely, but you can reduce the amount considerably if you shake off as much as possible as you pull it out of the flour bag.

4.  Maintain that oil temperature - Keeping the temperature around 350 degrees is a must.  Yes, it'll dip a bit when you add the chicken, but try to bring the oil back to 350 as soon as possible.  Frying is a perfect balance of the heat from the oil pushing in on the food and the steam from the water in the food trying to get out.  If the oil isn't hot enough, the water doesn't get hot enough to convert to steam and the oil sneaks into the breading, making it greasy.  If it's too hot, the water gets too hot and all the moisture disappears quickly. That'll mean greasy food, undercooked meat and burned breading.  So it's best to keep the temperature of the oil between 330-355 degrees.   And yes, using a food thermometer is a necessity.

Now we're pan frying the chicken, which is a little different than deep frying.  It's the same method we used on our Stuffed Chicken Parmesan.  Pan frying works with an inch or two of oil heated in a pan, so you don't have to submerge it in an oil bath, like you would with Chicken Tenders.  You'll lay the chicken in the pan on one side, then flip it over to complete the cooking on the other side.  There may be a small amount of darker coloring where the breading made contact to the pan, but that's normal, as you can see in the picture above.  Try not to flip it more than once.  It can allow a little grease to be absorbed on the side that's been down in the oil twice.

Buttermilk Fried Chicken

Serves 4-6

In the Buttermilk Soak
1 whole chicken, separated into pieces or 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts
3 cups buttermilk
1/4 cup buffalo wing sauce
2 cloves garlic

Sprinkle ingredients
1 tablespoon thyme
2 teaspoons sage
2 teaspoons onion powder
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons paprika

Shaking ingredients
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh ground pepper
2 tablespoons baking powder
1 1/2 teapsoon cayenne pepper

In a gallon ziploc bag, combine the buttermilk, buffalo wing sauce and garlic.  Seal and squish to mix it thoroughly.  Open the bag, add all the chicken pieces and reseal.  Place the bag in another bag or a large bowl to prevent unintentional spills and place back in your fridge.  Allow the pieces to soak up the buttermilk for a minimum of 2 hours, but doing this the night before or the morning of the cooking is even better.  If you're doing the long soak, make sure to pull out the bag and squish it around 2-3 times, just to move the meat around and to ensure the buttermilk coats every inch.

When you're ready to cook, combine the sprinkle ingredients in a small shaker, or in a small bowl if a shaker is unavailable.  Also, grab another gallon ziploc back and add all of the shaking ingredients.  Seal and shake to mix it will.  Also, place a pair of cooling racks on the counter, and make sure one has a triple layer of paper towels laid underneath.  Fill a large cast iron dutch oven ,a large saute pan or large cast iron skillet with enough oil to either come 1 inch up the side or no more than halfway up the side of a skillet (because any more will cause a spillover and a 911 call).  Place it over medium high heat until the oil reaches 350 degrees.  Don't guess the temperature.  Makes sure to use your digital thermometer.

Now for the coating.. Extract your chicken bag from the fridge.  Open it and pull out a piece of chicken with your tongs.  Lightly apply the sprinkle to the piece, then immediately drop it into the shaking bag.  Close the bag and shake vigorously.  Use those tongs again to remove the coated piece, shaking it to allow excess flour to fall off.  Place it on the cooling rack without the paper towels and move onto the next piece.  Repeat until everything is coated.

When the proper oil temperature is reached, add some of the chicken, but not too much to crowd the pan.  You'll need to flip the pieces half-way through the process.  Here are approximate cooking times...

Wings - 2-3 minutes each side
Boneless breasts - 3-4 minutes each side
Bone-in breasts - 4-5 minutes each side
Legs - 5 minutes each side
Thighs - 5-6 minutes each side

The color should be golden brown when it's done.  Remove the chicken when it's finished and place it on the paper towel lined cooling rack.  Let them rest for at least 5 minutes.  Serve them while they're hot with any sort of side, or snack on it throughout the day, pack it up for a picnic or place it in a container and eat it as a midnight snack.

So cook up a batch, have a little picnic and let the Colonel have a night off.

How I Proposed to My Wife and What's the Next Recipe?

So today marks a major milestone... My wife has officially put up with my $#!& for 7 years.

Yes, today is our seven year anniversary and I thought I should post about my greatest food inspiration, Liz.

Why is she my muse in the kitchen?  Well, she's willing to try almost anything I create.  Even if it's a little out of the ordinary (translated as WEIRD).  And she's truthful in her opinions.  If something I make is truly horrible, I want to hear that.  She's more than willing to be brutally honest in the nicest way possible.  Compromise, Honesty and Love, what more could you ask for!

I knew that we were meant to be about 2 months into our relationship. And she definitely felt the same.  She had told me a few weeks after I proposed that she new that I was the guy she was going to marry after the night I cooked her Chicken Parmesan.  So after dating for about 9 months, back in the late summer of '04, I knew it was time.

Now I know how important a good proposal story is when the ladies are conversing amongst themselves.  No matter how much they will deny it, this conversation will always degrade to everyone's cat-fight-inducing contest: My Man Loves Me More.  Just like it does on Valentine's Day (see my post about that), Christmas, etc. Soon to be grooms, please take note.  If you start of the marriage with a great proposal, the rest of the marriage will be that much better.

Now when you're scoring this version of My Man Loves Me More, each proposal is measured in four different categories....

Creativity:  The best proposals are out of the ordinary.  Something that hasn't been done over and over again.  Unlike proposing in front of the family at a major holiday or dropping down on one knee at a sporting event.  It can't be that original if the scoreboard operator has a standard chiron to place under your image on the Jumbotron.

Customization:  The proposal should play on or feature some of her favorite things.  If it's done during one of her favorite activities or it features food, flowers, entertainment or an activity she loves, you're doing it right.

Memorability:  The best proposals evolve in a way that a great story can be told.  You want to give her enough information that she can build it up into an epic poem.  Something that can be recited over and over again like a Shakespearean sonnet and retold by those who hear it as if it were a fable.  In other words, make it legen-------wait for it-------dary. Because if it takes her 3+ minutes to tell this story to the gaggle of females gathered around her, compared to the "Well, he got down on one knee next to that fountain over there" girl (who is usually a bitch anyway), she'll score all sorts of bonus points.  And if you can give her some physical evidence to show off, even better.

Surprise Factor:  Even if you have taken her to the jewelry stores, even if you've started to talk about wedding dates that would work for the out-of-town family, even if she knows that you must propose in the next three days before you leave town for business for two weeks (which was the case for me), you have to do it in a way that causes her to involuntarily throw her hands up and clasp them over mouth in genuine surprise.  If you've done the first three items in this list well, this fourth item happens on its own.

So since I wanted Liz to win the competition every single time, I did my damnedest to make this was a one-in-a-million proposal.

We had been looking at rings for a week or two and I was scheduled to leave town in three days.  I just received the custom built ring I ordered, so I decided we would have a picnic dinner up at Red Butte Garden.  I picked up a little fried chicken, her favorite chocolates and a bottle of our favorite white wine, the Chateau Ste. Michele Reisling.  After packing up the meal into my picnic backpack (which I HIGHLY recommend, and also available in my Amazon store), we hiked through the gardens.  I lead her down a sidehill through a overgrown trail to a small clearing in the canyon surrounded by the tall trees and bordered by the gurgling creek.  I spread out the blanket, set up the meal, lit the votives and began to serve.

Now Liz is a bright woman.  She can figure out most of my plots rather quickly.  It was the perfect place to propose.  Her favorite wine and chocolates were being hand-fed to her.  The setting sun beamed through the leaves of the surrounding forest, dancing through the crystal wine glasses.  The warm, late summer air would occasionally be overrun by the slightly chilled breeze wafting over the creek.  Romance was in the air.

We consumed the meal over a great deal of laughing and wine.  Then I stood her up.  I looked deep into her eyes and told her how much I loved her.  How she changed my life and I couldn't possibly be more happy.  I gave her a long sensual kiss, got down on one knee.... and packed up the plates, remaining food and garbage into the backpack and we walked back up the hill.

Yeah... you read that right, we left...

Liz looked at me as if I was insane.  I had the perfect mood, why in the hell didn't I propose right then and there?!?!?  Sure, it would have been romantic, but proposing right after a picnic?  Where's the originality?  Where's the spontaneity?   Where's the story?  And she knew if I did anything overly romantic that a proposal would soon follow, so I had to throw her off the trail.  I had a plan.  And it was helped by a completely random event.  My brother called me out of the blue as we ascended the hill, asking me to join a poker game that night.  I immediately said, "Sure, be there in an hour", knowing full well I'd need to call him back in 10 minutes to cancel.  This unplanned event sealed it in Liz's mind, the proposal was not coming tonight.

We began to wander through the trails of the lower gardens.  I had brought my SLR camera and tripod so we could take a few photos of the grounds.  We took a couple pictures of the waterfalls, a few of the boathouse and then we reached the tree arches.  It's an area where all of the trees have curved over the trail, forming a perfect tunnel overhead.  I told her that I wanted a picture of the trees in the setting sun, so I set up the tripod.  This way I could remove any focus issues caused by my shaking, nervous hand.  I clicked a few shots as a distraction, then I asked her to pose in the arch.  As she walked away, I pulled the box holding the ring out of my camera bag and slid it into my pocket.

She turned and posed a few times, and I urged her on like Austin Powers in his photo shoots.  She laughed a bit, because I was being entirely too weird.  But then I suggested we should get a shot of us together before we lost the light.  She agreed, of course, so I set up the timer.  It was all I could do to steady my finger long enough to hit the trigger on the camera.  I had counted out that timer 20 times that day to make sure I had it perfectly in my head.  I walked up as nonchalantly as possible to not blow my cover.  The entire time, I'm counting down in my head....

1....   Don't accidentally kick the tripod as you pass....

2...  Wow, the remaining sunlight is making her form pop against the green of the trees...

3... Come on... breathe...

4...  Hey, a squirrel... No, wait! Focus!

5...  Don't laugh because you're nervous, you'll blow your cover...

6...   I said BREATHE, you only get one shot at this...

7...  Almost there, she's got such a great smile...

8...  OK... grab her hand and don't squeeze to hard.

9...   "Hey Honey, I know what would make this picture even better...."

10...  I dropped to one knee and extracted the ring box from my pocket.

*click*

And it worked perfectly.  I caught the exact moment she realized what was happening on digital film for her to have for the rest of her life.  She did say yes... thank GOD.  We embraced and laughed for a good two minutes. And then she punched me in the shoulder.  "I wondered why you didn't propose down by the creek," she said.  "I mean, you set the mood and everything!  As we walked up the trail I was thinking, 'You blew it Johnson'!"

The plan worked perfectly.  And my brother was the first one to know as I called to cancel for poker.

My goal was not only to propose, but to give her one of the best stories you can re-tell, giving her a 93% chance of winning the My Man Loves Me More contest.    It's creative, not many people have used the old fake-out proposal-turned-surprise-proposal bit.   I built the customized fake proposal with all of her favorite things, then had to take it an extra step to fool Liz the Super Genius.  Memorability?  Well, she can keep that photo on her phone for the rest of her life.  And she can retell the story down to the second at a moment's notice.  And yes... she was VERY surprised.

I had a great time pulling off the proposal and Liz has just as great of a time re-telling it, especially to snotty women who were proposed to over the Jumbotron.

And the real reason I did it... She DESERVED something special.  She's such a wonderful woman, I a was so lucky to have her in my life, she deserved and absolutely unique and memorable experience.  Luckily it all worked out perfectly.

I think I did a good job.  Some others thought I did too.  BrideAccess.com (called Utahbrides.com back then) ran a Best Proposal contest and we were one of the finalists.  While we didn't win (because the winner was chosen by a random drawing), the proposal earned us a free wedding night room at a great secluded hotel in Midway, a free limousine for the wedding day, and about 2 or 4 other freebies that saved us a ton of cash.

So Liz, I just wanted you to know that these past 7 years have been the best years of my life.  My life is infinitely better than it could have ever been without you.  You're the light of my life, the core of my being and the best mother I could ever have for our three little boys.  I love you more than you'll ever know.  Thank you for putting up with me for the past 7 years and I truly hope I've earned enough karma in my life that the fates will give you the strength to tolerate me for decades more.

In honor of her and so you could possibly mimic the proposal dinner, I'm posting my recipe for Fried Chicken in my next post.   As for our anniversary night, I'm cooking whatever Liz's heart desires tonight.   And doing whatever she wants afterwards.  It may be cleaning, dusting and vacuuming the boys' room, but I'm hoping for something a little different.

Triple Berry Smoothie and My Weight Loss Program

I've never been what you would call svelt.

I was always a large kid, but not always chunky. I had my growth spurt early, so I was 5'4 and 140 pounds in 7th grade, al least 5 inches taller and 35 pounds larger than the rest.  Not chubby, just husky.  Let's just say that when I played center fullback on my competition soccer team, I put the fear of God into all the other kids.  The opposing teams only scored 3 goals over the 12 games that year, due in part that it's very hard to focus on bending a shot past the goalie when Mongo is barreling down on you at 65 miles an hour.

The closest I've ever come to being fit was in High School, where I was 15 pounds over the average. And that, according to my doctor, was because I have a very large skeletal structure.  My doctor, like Cartman's mom, said, "You're not fat, you're big-boned!"

But when I stopped growing on the x-axis around 10th grade, I expanded across the y- and z-axes.  The second and third dimensions slowly crept up over a few years until when I was finishing college, I had packed on 40 extra pounds since high school graduation.

Now I lost those 40 pounds an another 5 in the fall and winter of 1998 due to the most surefire weight loss program I know, the stress hell known a divorce.  Trust me, you DON'T want to go that route, it's not a permanent solution.  Well, divorce CAN be a good long-term solution for many other aspects of your life, just not for your waistline.  The worst part is that it all came back within a year and a half. 

After getting married for a second time and having a couple of kids, I literally became "fat and happy" to where I reached my heaviest: 70 pounds past high school, offically "festively plump".  A state where I really started to feel the physical consequences.  Couldn't keep up with the kids, too much salt in a meal would cause cramping, and eating way too much in a single seating would give my heart a nice warm hug.  My family has history of heart disease, diabetes, and stroke, none of which are aided by extra tonnage around the stomach.  And worst of all, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and had to start taking pills to control it.

So I had to make a few changes.  First, try to cut out some salt.  You'll notice that I try to not add more salt to most of my recipes.  Some of them already have natural salt built in, through the meat or tomatoes or other ingredients.  There's no need to add more salt, so I'll try to use other spices to enchance the flavors instead.  Second, portion control.  I've tried to keep my personal serving sizes smaller for me.  We've even experimented with using smaller plates so I can fool my mind.  Come on, it looks like a full plate, I should feel full when I'm done...  Third, avoid massive amounts of fat. especially when eating out.  You know, there are times where you really don't need the fries in the combo meals.  Maybe you want the fries, but you don't need a bucket of them.  So I'll order a sandwich and a drink, which is usually a light lemonade or a Coke Zero.  And if I'm craving the fries, I'll buy the size off the value menu (what used to pass as the small or medium about 10-15 years ago).

Now over the space of three years, this has worked.  I've lost 15 pounds and have managed to keep it off.  But like all great loss, I hit a plateau.  So I had to do something different. 

In the past few weeks, Liz and I have started to make fruit smoothies and I have to say that these are kickstarting the weight loss once again.  I'll blend one up, pour it in an insulated mug and then cart it into work.  They have ton of benefits.  They're filled with fruit and fiber.  So when I drink them, I get something to satisfy my sweet tooth and the fiber helps keep me fuller longer.  Also, preparing breakfast on the go makes the stop for two Carls Jr Sausage Biscits unnecessary.  That alone saves me from a wheelbarrow full of fat and salt.  And they don't get boring because I can use any type of juice, fruit, or sherbet/yogurt.  The flavors can be mixed up at will.

I know, I know, they're not exactly low calorie or low sugar.  But what I've found for my personal weight loss, replacing the fat-filled options available on-the-go with a smoothie is just the trade-off my metabolism needed.  I've lost 4 pounds in a month.  I physically feel better and have more energy (probably due to the extra vitamins and fiber, and yes the sugar).  And the craving I've had for fast-food breakfast is now almost non-existant.

We've already discussed the Rules of Smoothie Making when we posted  about the Mango Peach Berry Smoothie.   And these aren't just for breakfast.  They can become alcoholic party drinks by adding 2-4 ounces of your favorite flavored rum or vodka, but the recipe below is my old morning standby.  I like raspberry and blackberries the best, so I'll use them as my fruit base.  I'll just switch up the other fruit and juice if I want some variety.  Do whatever you'd like to make your own personal combination.  Just try to follow the proportions so the blender doesn't continually seize up on you.

Triple Berry Smoothie

Makes 32 ounces

10 ounces concentrated lemonade (made by mixing one can of lemonade concentrate and 1 1/2 cans of water)
6 ounces grape or berry juice
1 cup crushed ice
1 large scoop sherbet or frozen yogurt
8 ounces frozen raspberries
4 ounces frozed blackberries
4 ounces frozen straweberries

Add the juices, ice, sherbet/yogurt and the blackberries, then blend on a low speed until the ice and fruit are broken up. Next add the strawberries and blend again. Start out on a slow setting, but then increase the blender speed until you get a nice vortex rolling around. Stop and add the raspberries. Start up the blender at low or medium speed, then ramp it up until you reach vortex stage. If you're make alcoholic versions, add the flavored rum or vodka here. If you start getting "the bubble", add more liquid to dilute the mixture.

Once that vortex stage is reached, pour out into glasses and garnish any way you'd like

So take the 5 minutes in the morning to make a smoothie for breakfast. Avoid the sausage biscuits, no matter how good they sound.  Maybe you'll see a pound or two melt away and you'll no longer be "big-boned".

Mango Peach and Berry Smoothie and the Rules of Smoothie Making

Liz and I have been on a smoothie kick recently.  Why?  Well, it's getting warmer and they're cool and refreshing.  It's a better, healthier option for breakfast than a pair of sausage biscuits.  Maybe they're not as warm, salty and greasy in a good way, but I can't argue with the 3 pounds I've lost in the past two weeks.  They're a fat-free option when you need a snack anytime of day.  And if you want to turn it into a party drink, add just a little bit of alcohol and you're good to go.

Now using fresh ingredients is nice, but I've found that using frozen fruit work much better in the blender.  Room temperatue fruit can absolutely vaporize after just a few seconds in the blender.  But frozen fruit becomes miniature sweet ice crystals. 

What Liz and I will do is go to the freezer section of the grocery store and buy a ton of differnt fruits and juices.  I admit it, I'll go to Winco because we can get bags of fruit for only $2.00 and frozen concentrated juice for a little more than a buck.  So you can forget about going to Jamba Juice and paying almost $5.00 for a 22 ounce smoothie.  Spend $12.00 on ingredients and you can make 8 smoothies over the week for about a $1.50 a piece.

Now we like our smoothies with a little bit of a sour kick, so we'll make some double-strength lemonade.  Just mix up some lemonade from frozen concentrate, but use only 1 1/2 cans of water instead of the requisite 3 cups. 

Smoothie making isn't an exact science. But I've found this ratio works pretty darn well...

4 parts juice or liquid
2 parts ice
2 parts sherbet or frozen yogurt
3 parts fruit

You can mix and match any ingredient so it matches your taste palatte perfectly.  Don't feel like you have to be completely loyal to a flavor.  Experiment a bit.  But when you are building a smoothie, here are a few tips that will make your life easier...

1. Don't throw all of your ingredients in the blender at once - Part of it will blend up well, the rest will stay giant chucks that won't make their way through the straw.

2. Speed kills - Don't jump into the highest speed on your blender.  If you start at a low or medium speed when everything is large, the frozen ingredients will have a better chance of being chopped smooth instead of running into the problems listed in point 3.

3. Beware the bubble - If you spin too fast or don't put enough liquid in, the spinning blades will try to pull the ingredients above them down.  And if food doesn't fill up the space, air will.  It'll suck enough air down to create a bubble around the blades, causing your blender to rev up and preventing the blender from doing any work.  If you get a bubble, stop the blender and stir with a spoon.  Then start again on a low speed and work your way back up to the higher settings.

4.  Keep liquid handy - If the blender keeps bubbling up and you can't get that nice little vortex inside, add another ounce or two of juice.  It'll dilute the mixture just enough to spin perfectly.

This specific recipe is Liz's favorite.  She's a mango freak, and loves the sourness of the lemonade. 

By the way, if you want to make this into a party drink, add 2-4 ounces of flavored rum or vodka, and maybe a little more ice or fruit to keep the consistancy.  Add an umbrella and a little fruit on the rim of the glass and imagine yourself sitting on a beach in the Caymans.

Mango Peach and Berry Smoothie

Makes 32 ounces

12 ounces double-strength lemonade - see above for instructions
4 ounces orange, pineapple, or orange/pineapple juice
1 cup crushed ice
2 scoops (roughly 1 cup) pineapple, mango, or orange sherbet
1/2 cup frozen mangos
1/2 cup frozen peaches
1/2 cup frozen strawberries

Add the juices, ice, sherbet and the mangos, then blend on a low speed until the ice and fruit are broken up.   Next add the peaches and blend again.  Start out on a slow setting, but then increase the blender speed until you get a nice vortex rolling around.  Stop and add the last fruit.  Start up the blender at low or medium speed, then ramp it up until you reach vortex stage.  If you're make alcoholic versions, add the flavored rum or vodka here.  If you start getting "the bubble", add more liquid to dilute the mixture.

Once that vortex stage is reached, pour out into glasses and garnish any way you'd like

So make a batch of smoothies for your health... or for your snack... or for your party.  Just don't make the party smoothie before going to work in the morning.  There will be problems...

Steak in a Red Wine Marinade

I have heard that some people may have leftover wine after a party or a romantic dinner.  I have not really experienced this situation, since we make sure that we don't. But the great thing about leftover wine that it works great as the acidic component of a marinade component.

Marinades are used to infuse flavors into foods.  Contrary to popular belief, marinades really don't tenderize meat. While the exterior of the meat can become slightly tender after the soak, the marinade cannot reach farther than a few millimeters.  Which means that the depths of the meat can't be penetrated. 

So if you're going to make a marinade, make one with lots of flavor, not just a lot of acid. Vinegar can work great in some marinades, but some of the vinegar flavors can be a little overpowering.  Using an alcoholic beverage or even a soda (like Coke) can take vinegar's place. I've found that a 2 part acidic/1 part oil combination works best.  Why?  Well, the flavors in all foods will break down in one of three liquids: water, alcohol or fat.  The wine brings both the water and alcohol to the mix and the oil completes the trinity by filling the fat requirement.  

And if your goal is to infuse the steak with flavors, you need to add a few spices and vegetables that will give up said flavors.  I like going with the classics here.  Garlic, thyme, pepper...  And I also like to add a few other ingredients that will soak into the meat as well.  A little bit of soy sauce adds just enough salt without adding so much that your heart gets that nice warm hug after the meal.  Worchestershire sauce is also a classic flavor for red meat, so we toss in a some in for good measure.

Steak in a Red Wine Marinade

Enough marinade for 2 steaks - Double recipe for four

1/2 cup red wine of choice
1/4 cup vegetable oil or olive oil
1 teaspoon thyme
2 cloves garlic, minced fine
1 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon worchershire sauce
1 teaspoon fresh black pepper

Add all of the ingredients into a large ziploc bag, close the bag and either squish or shake them until it's well mixed.  Add the meat, seal the bag again and slosh it around to coat.  Set the bag inside another bag or another container and place it in the fridge for four hours.  Overnight or all day is even better.

When ready to cook, heat the barbecue using the highest setting you can.  Then drop the temp to medium to medium high heat and place the steaks on the grates.  After 4 minutes, flip the steaks.  After another four minutes, remove them from the heat and let them sit for at least 5 minutes.  This allows the juices to re-distribute so they don't all spill out on the plate when you slice it open.

Serve it with any side you want.

So utilize that leftover wine, or give yourself an excuse to go buy an extra bottle, then finish off the rest.

Kitchen Wedding Gift Suggestions and a Great Amazon Store

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

We now have an AMAZON STORE!!!

Yes, you can now visit the That Means We Get Pie Amazon Store and buy anything, and I mean ANYTHING in the Amazon World!  

My Amazon Store does have a kitchen theme.  I've created a few mini-stores that specialize in items mentioned in the blog.  Want the fondue equipment that was mentioned in the Romance Posts?  All the options are there.  Likes the 5 Favorite Cookbooks post and want to try one of them?  They're available in one click.  Need a good pizza stone to make a Barbecue Chicken Pizza?  Check out my recommendations in the Pizza Making section.

But if you want any other kitchen item... or a book... or a door handle for a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero... or you want to pre-order the Avengers Blu-Ray?  You can do all of that here!  It WON'T cost you one red cent more than what you would pay by going through the regular site.  Get it, no extra cost to you!  And if you have a Prime Account, you still get all of the perks, like free shipping, etc.  The only difference is that Amazon kicks a little bit of their profit from the purchase you were already going to make to us.  So every time you purchase something through my Amazon Store, you're donating to the Johnson Boys College fund.  And you've seen my boys, they're CUTE!  They deserve to go to the best school they can.

So please contribute to the kids' college fund today and make your next, and all subsequent Amazon purchases through my Amazon store.

Now, onto the post....

It's wedding season.  Yes, June is lousy with wedding after wedding where beautiful young couples promise eternal love and devotion.   For some (like mine), it will be a lifelong journey of happiness and joy.  For others (like my first marriage), it will be referred to as the "starter marriage", the "trial run", or the "mistake".

But no matter what is in store for the happy couple, you have a responsibility.  You have to buy them a gift.  

Now they may be registered somewhere like Macy's, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc.  And they will have a wish list a mile long.  Some items are useful, some absolutely worthless.  I accompanied one of my friends when they registered at Target.  While most of the selections were items that would truly help out, we were so punchy by the time we were done, we started zapping all sorts of stuff with the scanners, like Lucky Charms, toilet paper and a five pound bag of gummi bears.

But sometimes, the couple may not know exactly what they want.  Especially here in Utah.  There are so many kids getting married between the ages of 19-21.  I'm guilty of doing that myself the first time.  And for most of these kids, they're going from mommy and daddy's house to their first apartment.  They've never had to build a kitchen from scratch, so they have no clue what's good and what's not.

So let me give a couple suggestions on what you can get those newbies that will truly help them build not only a function and inexpensive kitchen, but a stockpile of extremely useful kitchen items they'll use for years

Let's start with the essentials: measuring cups.  For your liquid measurements, you could buy the Pyrex or the glass ones.  They work just fine, but if you want to make it easy on the newbies, go with a set of angled measuring cops, like the ones from OXO.  They sell a 3 piece set for $20 (the perfect wedding gift price for an acquiantance or a distant cousin) that includes a one, two and four cup size.  Why are they the best?  They have an edge on the inside that displays the measuring markings, easily viewable from above.  That means no filling the cup and then holding it up to eye-level to see if you have enough, and then filling it more, checking it, filling it more, etc.. I have this set and they are my workhorses.  And you can buy them in my Amazon store...

Next, the dry measuring cups.  Honestly, any brand will do.  They can be metal, plastic, melamine, glass, whatever.  But when you're buying dry measuring cups and spoons, there is one feature that is mandatory.  The labels of the cups and spoons must be molded into the material or cut into the handles.  Why?   Have you ever bought a set that has the measurements painted or printed on?  How many trips through the washer did it take before they wore off?  Mine started wearing in about 10 washes, and the measurements were gone by the 25th wash.  Don't force them to guess which ones is the 1/3 cup and the 1/4 cup. vSo spend a couple extra bucks and buy ones with clear measurements that are physically part of the cup.

What about cookie sheets?  You'll use them for cookies, breads, french fries, etc.  But theres one style of cookie sheet that has additional usages.  Take a look at these flat sheets.  Yes, they can be used for cookies, but they also work well for pizza making.  Since there are no edges, you can construct a pizza on it, then slide the pie off onto a pizza stone to cook.  Then when it's done, you can scoop the sheet under the pizza and extract it from the stone, just like you would with a pizza peel.  Most are insulated as well, so there's less of a chance of burning items.  Perfect for the amateur chef.

And speaking of pizza stones, they make great gifts because they are great multitaskers.  They do give pizza a great crispy bottom and are great for other bread baking, like baguettes or bread bowls.  But they improve the operation of your oven.  If you leave your pizza stones on the bottom rack of your oven, they'll heat as you preheat the oven.  Once they heat up, they'll radiate heat themselves and help maintain an even amount of heat in your oven.  Considering the high quality ovens that can be installed in your basic starter apartment, anything you can do to help in it's operation is a great idea.

We've discussed digital thermometers before and if the bride and groom haven't cooked anything beyond Kraft Mac and Cheese, ramen or Hot Pockets, the thermometer is essential.  It'll allow them to attempt some more complicated meals, like a roast turkey and ensure that it's cooked all the way through.  Nothing like preventing a bad case of samonella.  And it's an absolute necessity if you're going to fry anything.  So a really good basic digital thermometer is great.  There a huge variety of them online, have I mentioned that you can get this stuff through the Amazon Store?

What's the best cutting board for the new couple?  If they're just starting out, go with the plastic sheet cutting boards.  Why?  Well, they can be rolled up and tucked into any postage stamp-sized apartment kitchen. And they can survive a run through the dishwasher and come out sterile.  If either the bride or groom have some experience, think about a bamboo cutting board.  The material will be extremely kind to those new knives they'll receive from that one aunt and they're extremely easy to clean.  

And finally, maybe you want to get them something that'll help them rekindle the romance every so often.  A couple good ideas are a fondue pot or a picnic backpack.  The new fondue pots aren't just for fondue anymore.  They have specific heat controls that can allow you to boil a broth for cooking bite-sized meats, or go low and slow to keep a queso dip or an artichoke dip at a perfect temperature for any party.  They're also non-stick and completely submergable for easy cleaning.

The picnic backpacks?  They're completely frivolous.  But they're great for the romantic dinner in the park, a concert up at Red Butte Gardens, or even a lunch up the canyons near a waterfall.  Today's models include all of the linens and table settings you need, but they also have insulated pockets, thermoses and wine cozies, so everything can stay at the perfect temperature.  They're not cheap, but if you are close to the betrothed, it worth it to buy them something nice like this.

So there are a few wedding suggestions I have.  Yeah, they may not be on everyone's bridal registry, but trust me, they'll appreciate them much more.  And if you're going to buy these or any item through Amazon, please do it through our Amazon Store.  Doesn't cost you a penny and you're contributing to my kids' college funds.  Thanks!