A Cacophony of Cream Pies

I've posted this once before, but since we're days away from Thanksgiving, and since I will be appearing on X96's Radio From Hell Show tomorrow at 7:00, I thought it would be good to post it again.  If you're assigned the dessert for the big dinner, feel free to use one of these cream pies.

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So since it's the holidays, it's time to make a batch of pies again.  I'm always making a few for Thanksgiving Dinner.  Then I remember how much I like them, get the craving for more, and so I make a few more... and a few more...  Anyway, I know you all will be taking some to your dinners as well, so here's every variation of the Cream Pies that I make.  Make sure you read through the entire recipe.  The first section tells you how to make the pies, but there are slight variations at the end for each different recipe.  If you don't read ahead, you may add too much sugar, not enough butter and it won't taste nearly as good as it could.

Basic Cream Pie Recipe

2 1/2 cups whole milk

3/4 cup heavy whipping cream

3/4 cup sugar

4 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 egg yolks

2 tablespoons butter

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Place the egg yolks into a small container, mix them up and set aside for the time being.  In a medium saucepan, thoroughly combine sugar, cornstarch and salt.  Add the milk and cream and whisk until the sugar and cornstarch lumps are gone.  Cook over medium heat and stir constantly to prevent scorching. Once the mixture starts thickening (about 8-10 minutes), scoop a small amount of the mixture into the egg yolks and immediately start stirring the yolks. (Tricky part, continue to stir the other mixture too so it does not burn). Do this a few times so the yolks slowly warm up.  This will prevent them from curdling when they are added to the main mixture.  Now add the yolks into the saucepan very slowly, stirring the entire time.  Once added, pour in the butter and cook for two more minutes.  Remove from heat and add the vanilla.  Immediately pour it into a pre-cooked crust and refrigerate for 2-3 hours.

Differences to make each different type of pie…..

Chocolate Cream Pie – When you add the butter, add 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips or 6 oz of your favorite high-end chocolate and stir the mixture until completely melted.  Once the pie is cooled, garnish with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

Coconut Cream Pie – Increase the sugar to 1 whole cup at the beginning.  When you add the butter, add 1 ¼ cups of coconut and mix well. Once the pie is cooled, garnish with whipped cream and toasted coconut (to toast, broil a few pinches of coconut in an oven safe dish until brown, then sprinkle over the pie)

Banana Cream Pie – Increase the sugar to 1 whole cup at the beginning of the recipe.  Layer the bottom of the crust with slices of bananas.  Pour the vanilla pie filling  into the crust over all the sliced bananas.  Once the pie is cooled, garnish with whipped cream and banana slices

Strawberry, Raspberry, Blackberry or Blueberry Cream Pie – You can layer the bottom of the crust with sliced or crushed fruit.  Then as you add the butter, add ½ to ¾ cup of crushed fruit and mix thoroughly.  Garnish the top with whipped cream and slices of the fruit

German Chocolate Pie – Reduce the sugar to ½ cup.  As you add the butter, add 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips, 1 cup of coconut and ¼ cup finely chopped pecans.  Once the pie is cooled, take storebought hot caramel (or homemade if you’re skilled enough) and drizzle all over the top of the pie, covering most of the surface.  Garnish with whipped cream and sprinkle with chopped pecans, toasted coconut, and shaved chocolate.

Butterscotch Pie – Increase sugar to 1 cup and the butter to 6 tablespoons.  As you add the butter, add 2 oz of scotch (the alcohol will cook out).  Stir for 5 more minutes instead of two to cook off excess liquid.  Garnish with whipped cream.

Butter Rum Pie – Increase sugar to 1 cup and the butter to 6 tablespoons.  As you add the butter, add 2 oz of dark rum (or light if you prefer the taste, don’t worry, the alcohol will cook out).  Stir for 5 more minutes instead of two to cook off excess liquid.  Garnish with whipped cream.

Peanut Butter Pie – Increase the sugar to 1 full cup.  When adding the butter add 1 cup of creamy or chucky peanut butter.  After cooling, garnish with whipped cream and crushed peanuts.  Use a regular or Oreo Cookie Crust and slather on as much hot fudge sauce as you’d like (recipe at the bottom of this page).  If using the Oreo Crust add chocolate shavings to the crushed peanut garnish.

Peppermint Fudge Pie – Before starting to cook, crush enough starlight mints or candy canes into very small pieces to fill 1 cup (about 20 starlight mints).  Add the candy when you add the butter and stir until they melt.  Add ¼ tsp peppermint extract when you add the vanilla, as well as 5 drops of red food coloring. Pour into an Oreo Cookie Crust.  Garnish with whipped cream, crushed peppermint candy and pour hot fudge over it when serving.

Oreo Cookie Crust

1 package oreos

8 tablespoons butter

Scrape the filling off of the oreos and place them in a large Ziploc bag.  Eat discarded filling…if you really want to.  Crush the cookies in the bag to your desired consistency, somewhere between very small chunks to almost powdered.  Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat.  Once butter is melted, add the cookies and stir until the cookies soak up the butter.  Scoop the mixture into a pie plate and press the mixture flat until the entire plate is covered

Hot Fudge Sauce

4 ounces of semi-sweet chocolate

1 ounce unsweetened chocolate

1 stick butter

3 cups powdered sugar

1 cups evaporated milk

¾ cups whole milk

1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla

Melt the butter in a saucepan over low heat, then add the chocolates, increase to medium heat and fully melt them into the butter. Add half the powdered sugar and milks and stir until incorporated.  Add the other half and stir.  Bring the mixture to a simmer over medium heat and simmer for about 8 minutes until it’s thick and creamy. Stir in the vanilla. The sauce will thicken as it cools.  Store in a mason jar in the fridge if you aren’t using it immediately.  To reheat, place the desired amount in a small bowl and microwave on high for 20-30 seconds.

Seasoned Turkey with Gravy... brine it for a very moist bird

If you've cooked a Thanksgiving dinner or two, then you know how an overcooked turkey can ruin a dinner.  Too long in the oven, not enough time thawing it, or no preparation done to the bird at all and the meat can turn into a spindly, meaty clump of fibers with the consistency of pine shavings.  And just as dry.

And just as embarrassing is cutting into the meat and realizing that the center is still pink inside...

So I discovered a few insurance policies you can enlist that will force the turkey to turn out just the way you'd like.  They may add about 15 minutes of prep time, and you have to start preparing it earlier than normal, but it's definitely worth it.  Especially if you have an aunt/sister/grandmother/mother-in-law/resident B!&@# in the family who likes to critique your cooking.  Have them try a few moist slices from the breast and tell them to suck on the drumstick.

First, completely thaw the bird.  Nothing wrong with using a frozen turkey.  I do it all the time, because I'm not made of money.  But if you don't COMPLETELY thaw the bird, the outer meat will be much warmer than the inner meat will be as you start to cook.  This means one part will be done while the other part is still raw, or one part is properly cooked and the other is as dry as the Sahara.

Second, try brining the meat.  Brining the turkey will force a little more flavor and moisture into the meat, which will give you a better chance of a very moist bird.  It all goes back to your biology class, where you learned that an excess of salt and water on either side of a membrane will always try permeate the tissues to equalize the level of salt on both sides.  Because there's less salt inside the bird than in the brine, it'll suck some through the skin and into the meat, along with some of the water, spices and sugar.  And that little extra salt will help it retain water, like I do when I eat a foot long Italian Sub from Coronado's.  Retained water means more moist meat.  And finally, brining it will help a previously frozen bird thaw completely because it's soaking in water for almost 24 hours..

Third, DO NOT TRUST THE TENDER TIMER!!!!  Tender timers never work correctly.  I've seen a turkey breast reach 175 degrees and the tender timer wasn't anywhere close to popping.  They're no where close to accurate and if you trust them, they will turn your kitchen into a den of lies and a room of shame!  Rely on your handy dandy digital thermometer instead.  Stick it into the thickest part of the breast if you're doing just a breast or stick it into the thickest part of the thigh if you're doing a whole turkey.  And don't let it go over 168 degrees before pulling the turkey out and letting it rest by wrapping it in a towel and some tin foil.  It'll finish it's cooking on the counter and be perfect when you slice it up

A turkey breast or a turkey under 15 pounds will most likely fit in a large stockpot when you brine.  But if you're preparing a very large bird, you'll need a large vessel to soak the turkey (like a 5 gallon Gott drink cooler, keeping ice in it to keep the mixture as cool as it would be in the refrigerator) Then triple or quadruple the brine and water amounts to cover the bird completely in the large water cooler.

Brined and Seasoned Turkey Breast
Prep time is a minimum 4 hours, cook time is around 3-5 hours depending on the size of the bird, so read through completely and prepare properly.

Meat
1 8-14 pound turkey or a large turkey breast

Brining Stage
If you're brining it in a stock pot, one batch of this is enough.  If you are using a Gott cooler for a very large bird, then you'll want to triple/quadruple it.

1 quart water
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon thyme
1 tablespoon sage
1 1/2 teaspoon rosemary
2 cloves of garlic, chopped into eighths
2 or 3 more quarts cold water

In a large saucepan, combine the water, salt, sugar and spices.  Turn the heat to high and stir the concoction so the sugar and salt begin to dissolve.  Bring it to a boil and keep it there for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Remove from heat and pour into a large stockpot (or whatever large vessel you've chosen to use soak the bird in).  Add two quarts of the cold water and stir to mix.  Finally, add the turkey , breast side down, submerging as much as possible.  If it won't completely fit, let the legs poke out, but by putting the breast side down, the majority of the meat will still brine.  Cover completely with plastic wrap and soak for at least 4 hours in the fridge (Best if left overnight).

Roasting Prep / Cooking Stage
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons thyme
2 teaspoons sage
1 teaspoon rosemary
1-2 cloves garlic, chopped very fine
Freshly ground pepper

In a small bowl, combine the thyme, sage, and rosemary.  Remove the turkey breast from the brine and thoroughly dry it (use paper towels).  Place it breast side up on a rack in an aluminum foiled lined roasting pan.  Rub the breast with the butter until it is coated.  Sprinkle the spice mixture all over the breast evenly.  Then spread the garlic over the breast as well.  Stuff the bird at this point, if you want (my stuffing recipe is here).  Stick your meat thermometer into the thickest part of the breast if cooking a breast, making sure you don't go more than halfway through the meat.  If you are cooking a whole bird, stick the thermometer into the thickest part of the thigh.  Cover the breast in a tin foil tent and place in a 325 degree oven.  Cooking time will be about 20 minutes a pound, but rely on your meat thermometer.  When the temperature reaches 150 degrees, remove the foil tent so the skin will crisp up.  When it reaches 167 degrees, pull it from the oven, cover it in tin foil and a large beach towel.  The temperature will increase to around 173-175.  When the temperature begins to drop (about a half hour), remove the towel, tin foil and thermometer. 

Now since you have all these wonderful meat drippings captured by our roasting pan's aluminum foil lining, we can make a great gravy.  The drippings are important, not only because they have great turkey goodness in them, but some of the spices have mixed in.  So there is very little you'll need to add to it for some great taste.

Turkey gravy

Turkey drippings

1 tablespoon Cornstarch

8 to 12 ounces turkey broth/stock (substitute chicken broth if you don't have any turkey stock)

Pour the turkey drippings from the bottom of the roasting pan into a small saucepan.  Add the tablespoon of cornstarch and mix together so the cornstarch is incorporated.  This will prevent lumps. Add the turkey broth and turn the heat up to medium-high.  Take it to the boiling point, whisking the mixture occasionally.  Remove from the heat and pour into a serving vessel. Allow to cool for a couple minutes.

So try this recipe out and see if the meat is as moist and tender as it is for me.

Raspberry Pretzel Jello Salad - The answer to everyday jello!

If you live in the state of Utah, you know the area's affection with the Jello Salad.  At every holiday gathering, you're guaranteed to see at least one.  And the variations are wide and bizarre.  Yes, I have seen the cake pan full of Jello with fruit cocktail mixed in.  I have beheld tons of bundt cake or other elaborately molded jellos laced with every fruit imaginable.   I have even seen the infamous Green Jello with Carrots and I was adequately horrified. Most Jello concoctions are frightening and just don't taste that good. 

That is, until my sister brought this dish to a family gathering.  It's delicious.  It has the sweetness of the raspberries and the Jello, the tartness of the cream cheese and the saltiness of the pretzel crust.  Yes, pretzels.  How do pretzels taste in Jello?  About 20 times better than the grainy bits of "melon" that is in fruit cocktail, that's all!

It's borderline to call this a true Jello dish, because it has so many other ingredients, but it only takes 20 minutes longer that boiling up some jello and dumping a can of fruit cocktail in a mold.  And best of all, it won't make your family members feel like they have to politely choke it down.  They'll go back for seconds.

Raspberry Pretzel Jello Salad

Serves at least 12

2 cups crushed pretzels

3/4 cup melted butter
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 8 oz. package cream cheese
8 ounces Cool Whip
1 cup powdered sugar
1 large box raspberry Jello
2 pkg. frozen raspberries

Mix together crushed pretzels, melted butter and the 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar. Then press the combined ingredients into a 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake 10 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool for about 20 minutes. Mix cream cheese, Cool Whip and 1 cup of powdered sugar; pour and spread over pretzel crust.

Dissolve large package of raspberry Jello in 2 cups boiling water. Add 2 packages of frozen raspberries, not drained. Mix well and pour over cream cheese. Chill for two hours.

So if you're required to bring the Jello at Thanksgiving, bring this instead so you do not inflict another Jello Horror upon your loved ones.

Homemade Sausage and Herb Stuffing

Up until about age 10, I avoided stuffing like the plague.  I thought it was just nasty bread chunks soaked in in turkey juice with lots of weird stuff mixed in.  And I was SO wrong...

Personally, this is my favorite side dish at Thanksgiving dinner, especially this recipe.  It my mother's design with a few tweaks in it.  She uses freshly ground sausage from the butcher block, lots of butter and fresh veggies.  It so good, sometimes it makes the turkey meat on your plate an afterthought.

Stuffing that's been inside the bird is my favorite.  It has the opportunity to soak up all that extra turkey fat and the essence of the breast meat.  But nowadays, some people really freak out about possible cross-contamination or infection by little bacteria if the bird isn't cooked long enough.  Well, this can be avoided by... say it with me... cooking the bird long long enough. An opportunity of infection comes from under-cooking the turkey or not completely thawing it before cooking.  There are a number of steps that ensure a well-cooked and flavorful bird.  But that's another post (which is coming in a week)...

If you are that worried about salmonella, don't have enough room in the turkey, or just want stuffing without the bird, you can bake it in an oven-safe container separately and it will turn out great!  Any you can choose any type of bread you would like.  I've seen people use cornbread, sourdough, or just the standard dressing boxes.  If you live in Utah, they make their own dressing strips from their dried bakery bread.  It's excellent!

Homemade Sausage and Herb Stuffing

1/2 pound country style sausage
2 stalks of celery, finely sliced into thin half moons
1 half of a medium sized onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons butter
2 good sized white or brown mushrooms, diced
1 box (18 oz) herb flavored stuffing bread
1-2 14 oz can chicken broth
1 teaspoons thyme
1 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder.

In a large saute pan, break the sausage up into small pieces and brown them all thoroughly. Remove the sausage to a small bowl and then add the butter.  Once the butter has melted, add the celery, mushroom and onion and saute until the onions are translucent and the celery is softened.  Sprinkle the spices over the vegetables just before they have completed cooking.  Add the stuffing bread and stir to combine.  Pour the chicken broth in and stir until combined.  You want to add enough broth so the bread is moist, but not enough that it starts to disintegrate when you stir, so add more than one can slowly...  Once thoroughly mixed, add the sausage back into the mixture and stir for another 2 minutes.  Transfer to an oven-safe container. 

From here, you have two options.  If you wish to stuff the bird itself, do it.  Make sure that the bird reaches 173 degrees when you cook it so the stuffing is thoroughly cooked as well.

The second option is to leave the stuffing in the bowl, cover it and bake it in the oven until the internal temperature reaches 160 degrees.  If you're cooking it at the same time as a bird, it should take about 30-40 minutes.   So once the bird reaches 150 degrees, pop it in the oven and check the temperature often. (or just use your digital thermometer).

Thanksgiving PRIZE Giveaway and 1,500 visits!

So we've reached another milestone, 1,500 visits!  Once again, thanks to everyone for their continued support and your wonderful comments on the recipes. 

There's a lot in the works in the next 30 days!  First, of course, is a large list of recipes just in time for your Thanksgiving dinner, including a great Turkey preparation and all of the trimmings in the next two weeks.  Second, you'll be hearing me on the X96 Radio from Hell Show on November 16th; more details on the broadcast next week.  And third, we'll be including restaurant reviews in the next month. We have a few other surprises as well, so stay tuned...

And to celebrate the upcoming special events and the holiday season, we're running a contest!  What's the most essential tool for the holiday season?  A digital thermometer!  It's an essential tool for cooking a turkey.  NEVER trust the tender timers... they LIE!  And if you're making any candies, you'll need a good thermometer to make sure you're taffy doesn't become rock candy and your caramels don't become slag.

 We'll be giving it away to one of our Facebook friends. So how does the contest work? To be entered into the drawing, do the following....

1.  If you are already a Facebook friend, congratulations, you're already entered into the contest.

2.  If you're not a Facebook friend, log into Facebook, look for the That Means We Get Pie page and click Like at the top of the page.  You'll then be a friend and be entered in the contest.

3.  You get extra credit for referring new people to the site.  If you convince them to become a Facebook friend, have them e-mail ThatMeansWeGetPie@gmail.com and state that you referred them.  They'll get an extra entry and so will you!  Refer as many people you like and have them e-mail us, there's no limit to the number of entries you can earn.

We'll be drawing the winner on November 17th and notifying the winner immediately through Facebook.  That way we can collect your information and get the prize into the mail on the 18th.  Hopefully, you'll have it in time for the big day!

So make sure you and all your friends Like the That Means We Get Pie page on Facebook and prepare to win!

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

OK, with Halloween over ::sniff::, we move into the largest cooking season of the year:  Thanksgiving.   And it's never too early to start preparing for the big day. 

So during the month of November, I'm going to post the recipes I've used for making the big turkey dinner. 

We'll start with the classic mashed potatoes.  I remember my Grandma Johnson cooking a giant batch of potatoes, straining out the water and then pounding them into oblivion with an old school potato masher.  She'd add a ton of butter and cream to get the necessesary smoothness.  Once again, I said that they were good, I never mentioned anything about low fat.

Anyway, the potatoes were so good, you could have eaten them without any additional garnishment; gravy or extra butter not needed.  So I've concocted this recipe in her honor.  I wish I had her original proportions, but we never wrote them down.  I've also added the garlic in as well, because I'm a garlic lover.  If it's not your thing, just leave it out.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Serves 10-16, can be halved for non Thanksgiving day uses.

5 pounds russet potates
3 cloves garlic, smashed
1 1/2 cups whipping cream
2 cloves garlic, minced
8 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tsp salt
2 tsp black pepper

Scrub all the dirt off the potatoes and peel them if you wish (I'd suggest not to peel them, I like the flavor they bring).  Bring a stockpot of 4-6 quarts of water to a boil.  Chop up the potatoes into 3/4 inch cubes and add them to the boiling water.  The size isn't as important as much as consistantly making the larger pieces the same size  Smash three cloves of garlic, by laying them on the counter, placing the flat side of a large knife's blade over them and then slamming your hand onto it.  Add the smashed cloves to the potatoes and water.  Cook them for 20-30 minutes, or until the average cube splits apart when pressed by a fork.

While the potatoes are cooking, place the 2 cloves of minced garlic and the whipping cream in a saucepan, and cook it on low (2 out of ten).  This will infuse the cream with the garlic. Do not let it boil.

When the potatoes are done, strain the potatoes thoroughly, getting all the water out you can.  Pour them into the bowl of a stand mixer.  Using the paddle attachment, mash up the potatoes.  Add the butter and mix for another 30 seconds.  Next pour in half of the whipping cream and mix for 15-20 seconds.  If the consistancy is not smooth enough, keep adding the cream until it is to your liking.  Finally, add the salt and pepper and mix for 20 more seconds.  Remove from the mixer and serve.

So make some of this with ANY meal you want, but make sure it's one of the side dishes in the fancy bowls on the Thanksgiving table.