Mexican Lasagna

So I was making a batch of my enchiladas one night and the thought hit me... is there something else I could do with these ingredients?  And then it came to me.  Mexican Lasagna!  Layer the tortillas like noodles, substitute the marinara with enchilada sauce, and VIOLA!!

Sure, I could be a pretentious asshat here and say that I was trying to create a fusion between Mexican and Italian cuisines.  But to be completely honest, I wanted an excuse to cram more and more cheese and sauce into every bite of an enchilada.  And by layering the ingredients instead of rolling them into tube, I could add a ton of sauce and cheese in each strata.

You can use any type of tortillas you'd like.  I prefer the flour tortillas that you can cook as home.  But if you want to use corn tortillas instead, by all means, go ahead.  Other ingredients can be added as well.  I like to add some diced onions and sliced olives, but I could see adding tomatoes, corn, maybe even some sour cream on a layer or two.  Do whatever sounds good to you.

Mexican Lasagna

Serves 4-6

Sauce
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 14 ounce cans of low sodium chicken broth
2 6 ounce cans of tomato paste
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon cayenne powder
2 cloves garlic, minced

Other ingredients
4-5 ten inch flour tortillas or 15 small corn tortillas
1 1/2 pounds ground beef or shredded chicken breast
1 small onion diced
1 can of medium olives, sliced
3 1/2 cups shredded Mexican style cheese (or just pepper jack)

Optional ingredients
8 ounces sour cream
1 1/2 cups corn kernels
1 1/2 cups diced tomatoes
3-4 sliced jalapenos, seed removed

To create the sauce, place a small saucepan over medium heat.  Add the flour and the oil and stir.  Allow it to heat up for about 5 minutes.  Add the chicken broth and the tomato paste to the man and mix well.  Add the spices and the garlic cloves.  Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes.

While that's simmering, cook your meat and prepare all of your other ingredients.  Place the tortillas over and 8x8" pan and trim off the overlapping tortilla edges.  Spray the pan with cooking spray to prevent sticking layer.  Add a few spoonfuls of sauce to the pan and dip the pan around so it coast the bottom of the pan.

Begin to build the lasagna.  Place one tortilla in the pan and spread enough sauce on top to coat the tortilla.  Add about 1/4 of the meat, cheese and all of the other ingredients.  Pick up another tortilla and coat one side with sauce.  Place that tortilla into the 8x8 pan, sauce side down.  Repeat each step until you reach the last tortilla.  Once it's placed in the pan, pour the remaining sauce over the top of the contents of the pan.  Liberally sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top.  Cover in tin foil and place in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.  Remove the foil and cook for another 10 minutes.  Finally, remove the pan from the oven and serve while it's still hot.

The Perfect Valentine's Day Chocolate Fondue

In honor of Vaneltine's Day, I'm reposting my classic Chocolate Fondue recipe.  It's the perfect dessert for 2 and can become the prelude to the rest of a very romantic evening.  Just be inventive with the molten chocolate.  I'm just saying...

Sure, aphrodisiacs may or may not exist.  But I can tell you that very few foods can get you in the mood better than warm chocolate.   There's something about the silkiness in the mouth, the feel on the tastebuds and the exquisite taste of real quality chocolate.

Now guys, you want to score some romance points with the ladies, surprise her with a chocolate fondue. Yes it sounds luxurious, but it's one of the SIMPLEST things in the world to make.  It's melted chocolate and enough whipped cream to get the right consistency  That's it.  You find a bunch of things to dip into it and you're done.

Now what you serve and how you serve it matters.  First, what you serve...  Now almost anything tastes great when it is dipped in chocolate.  And what type of chocolate you use can matter.  Always use something the person you are serving loves.  Liz likes the Dairy Milk from Cadbury, so I'll use that as a base.  You do not have to limit yourself to just one type of chocolate.  Sure, you can have a milk chocolate base, but you can add dark or white chocolate as well.  And if you want to swirl in some caramel, drop in some nuts, or add some other flavorings, more power to you.

If you're making this for your special someone, you want to make sure that you provide some of her favorite foods.  Just make sure whatever you present is dipable.  When it comes to fruits, almost anything that's pretty solid works, since you can lance them with a small fork and it will stay on.  Strawberries, raspberries, bananas, grapes, melon pieces, pineapple, pears, etc all work wonderfully.  But I've also seen citrus like oranges and tangerines served as well.  When it comes to pastries, you want to make sure that it won't disintegrate. While your average cake isn't recommended, cubes of sponge cake, shortcake and brownies will stay on the fork and the texture will capture the chocolate on the uneven surface.  And almost any type of cookie will work great if you dip it by hand.  Oreos will allow some extra chocolate to slide in the gap between the layers.  Shortbread cookies soak up a little extra chocolate. Chocolate chip, oatmeal, and even peanut butter cookies can be dredged through the chocolate as well. 

Now you can warm and serve the chocolate any way you'd like.  I do own an electric fondue pot and I recommend it.  The pot has an adjustable temperature gauge, so you can maintain the heat as long as you want to.  Also, they usually come with a set of fondue forks, so multiple people can dip without having to share cutlery.  My pot has a teflon coating and can be completely submerged in water, so it's very easy to clean.  And you can use the pot for more than just fondue.  You can prepare dips, small soups, and other appetizers for parties with this piece of equipment. 

If you don't want spend the money, they do make other pots.  There are some that are ceramic that allow you to put a heat source under them.  There are also small, two persons pots that allow for a tealight to heat it.  These are perfectly good serving vessels, but if you're going to use those to keep it warm, I'd recommend initially melting the chocolate in a saucepan and then pour the contents into the containers when you're ready to serve.  

Finally, make the display pretty.  Lay the dipable items on plates surrounding the fondue pot.  Have the forks easily accessible.  Add some flowers or candles on the table for ambiance.  Just make it as romantic as possible.  Who knows?  Maybe the sensual mood will inspire someone to find new and exciting uses for the melted chocolate...

Chocolate Fondue

Preferably serves a select pair, but can be done for a group as well.

1 pound of your favorite chocolate

Up to 1 cup whipping cream

Dipping items

Warm your fondue pot or saucepan to medium.  Add the chocolate and stir until it's almost completely melted.  Slowly add the whipping cream and stir to blend.  It may coagulate when you put the first amount of cream in.  That's OK, keep adding cream in small quantities  until you get the consistency you want.  Present the chocolate with all sorts of dipable items, which can include:

Strawberries 

Raspberries

Grapes

Melon pieces

Pineapple

Pears

Apples

Brownies

Shortcake

Sponge Cake

Oreos

Shortbread cookies

Chocolate Chip cookies

Peanut Butter cookies

Your partner...  etc.

So set the romantic mood with a creamy chocolate aphrodisiac and see where the mood takes you.

Help Your Lady Win the My Guy Loves Me More Competition

Men, for your benefit, I'm once again detailing the rules of the Valentine's Day competition only the ladies know about, called "My Guy Loves Me More".  The one they desperately desire to win... and the one that if you help her win,  will reward you greatly.  Take notes, plan ahead and make sure you do all in your power to outperform everyone else...


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Yes, it's time for Valentine's Day.  I can hear the disheartened moans from most of the men out there.  I know that many of you hate this time of year, that it's a holiday generated by the greeting card companies to take all of your hard earned money away.  But you know what?  While a valid point... no matter how or why it was created, it's now publicly accepted as a day to show your love to your significant other.  So suck it up, whining about it won't change anything.

Since it's become National Date Night, it's very important to the ladies.  And there's no better way to score points with the girls that to show you care about what's important to them.  So I have 10 tips on how you can make this day extremely memorable.

Ten Valentine's Day Tips

1. Get flowers, but make it SPECIAL - We've discussed this before in our Stuffed Chicken Parmesan recipe.  Don't just buy the generic red roses.  Red roses are the sign of a moron who waited until the last minute, or someone who just doesn't care.  Take the time to find out what her favorite colors and favorite flowers are.  Some ladies really like other types of flowers as well, which can work really well since roses are outrageously expensive this time of year.  Liz loves the light pink roses, the circus roses (a fire orange rose with red accents), and stargazer lilies.  And since the office can become a sea of red roses at Valentine's Day, why not have her stand out with something customized to her tastes?  And AVOID the "Rainbow roses".  My wife is a former florist and Rainbow roses are the leftover roses that have some flaw.  Instead of putting them in a bouquet of the same color, they put them all together, hoping the different colors will hide the problems they have.

Which leads me to the next secret of flowers - Costco.  It's a very inexpensive option, and you can get two dozen roses around $14.00 almost any other time of the year.  Of course, Valentine's Day forces the prices up a bit, but it's still cheaper than the florists.  And best of all, they're fresher.  You never know how long those flowers in the florist's flower coolers have been sitting there.  They could die tomorrow.  But every batch I have purchased at Costco has lasted at least a week if I trim the ends with a pair of scissors and add the plant food to the water.

Finally, there's one other accent you can add.  Go buy a special vase.  Something beyond just a basic plastic vase.  Something she thinks is pretty.  I was lucky enough to find a vase that matched her china pattern for around $25.  Why get one?  Well, you give her the vase and then promise to fill it with flowers every Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Birthday and Anniversary.  She'll keep that vase as safe as her wedding ring.  Best of all, it'll look great in front of others when she shows off her flowers, which leads to....

2. Deliver the flowers to work or a public place - If your special lady works, the BEST thing you can do is deliver it to her office yourself.  Why?  Well, I was told by a few co-workers a few years ago that Valentine's Day is a cutthroat competition among the women, properly named "My Guy Loves Me More ".  And trust me, you want your girl to win this game, or at least place in the top 5.

Points are allotted to each woman according to the public attention heaped upon her in front of "those bitches in the office".  The girl with the most point wins.  How can your lady score points?

Point Values

Card - 1-3 points - depending on the message on the inside
Decoration of desk - 1-5 points, depending on extent and cuteness of decorations.
Balloon bouquets - 2-5 points, depending on size and visibility to the rest of the office
Candy/Chocolates - 2-5 points, depending on size and quality of chocolate, ability to share with others that did NOT get any (flaunting) can score a few more points
Flowers - 5-15 points - depending on visibility, color, and beauty
Gift - 1-20 points - completely dependent on what the gift is
Lunch - 5-10 points - depending on location and price
Jewelry - 1 to 100 - depending on carat size, metal, and the ability to show it off to her coworkers
Performance (singing telegram, stripper-gram) - -10 to 10 points - completely dependent on her comfort with the idea and how it may effect the office.

Other factors effecting final score:

Embarrassment (-1 to -15 points) - Anything like dead flowers, deflated balloons, or an extremely bad singing telegram can become office legend.  And can rack up negative points quickly.

Size (-10 to +20) - No matter what the ladies may say, size DOES matters, but it matters more today.  The larger the better.  It's best if you can see your gifts from across the office. And woe be unto you if you undershoot.  Hell hath no fury like a woman who was mocked all day by that skinny little witch in the cubicle next to her because you gave her three less flowers.

Personal Appearance (possible 2-30) - Possibly the safest and most profitable thing you can do.  Sure, you can have flowers delivered to the office, but there's a certain sense of awe about a guy who will deliver them himself.  And if you have multiple items (flowers with candy/balloon/gift) in hand and plant a big ol' kiss on her before saying a word, trust me, she'll get max points.

Significance - (No defined range)  - Biggest wild card and possibly the most beneficial.  It can turn the smallest gift in the world into the most valuable.

So if you want your special lady to score well, plan on a long lunch.  Buy two dozen of the special flower type at one of the warehouse stores (15 points for flowers + 10 size bonus), arrange them in your special vase (+ 10 significance), attach a card (2 points for card) with a special message (+2 significance), deliver it yourself (+20 appearance bonus), and then take her to a nice lunch for her lunch break (+10 lunch points).  Guess what?  You've just scored her at least 70 points.  This will definitely put her in the running for the crown.  She may not win, because some schmuck may play the marriage proposal card, (1,000,000 points, so an automatic win for the girl, but a pretty lame way to propose in my opinion...).  But you can guarantee she's in the running.

3. Shower, shave, and smell pretty - ESPECIALLY if you're going into her office.  This shouldn't have to be mentioned, but you gotta get any stink off of you.  Yes, you may think you look great, but take the extra time to look ultra-presentable.  Spend the extra 15 minutes in the bathroom to style your hair, scrub off the dirt and for god's sake, use deodorant and her favorite cologne.

4. Do one daily task for her - Yes, you may have certain daily tasks that each of you do around the house.  Maybe it's the dishes, maybe it's feeding the kids in the morning, maybe it's vacuuming.  Whatever it is, do one for her for the few days leading up to Valentines Day.  It's a nice gesture, it gives her a break and may free up some time to relax.  Trust me, she'll really appreciate it.

5. Spend a little time with the kids - If you want to have some private time on Valentine's Day, you need to spend some time with the kids ahead of time.  Take them out to the park, bowling, mini-golfing, etc.  It shows that you care about them, you get to have some fun with the little ones, and there's no better aphrodisiac than a dad happily playing with his kids.

6. Do the small things - OK, some of these things can seem tedious to the average male, but they're important. When you plan your date, go beyond just dinner and a movie.  There's nothing wrong with that... but if you're going to have a basic game plan, throw some enhancements into the mix.  Open the car door for her.  Have a flower for her to carry around as you walk.  Hold her hand or present your arm.  Kiss her every chance you get, especially in front of others.  Compliment her every chance you get.  Any of the small things can make it that much more memorable.

7. If you give her a gift, give here one that means something -  There's a reason why the Significance variable in the "My Guy Loves Me More" game above is an open-ended point spread.  A present tied to a memory, inside joke or a significant part of your life will mean much more than something she may need.  It doesn't have to be expensive at all.  You could include a small stuffed animal with another gift if one of your first dates was at the zoo to remind her of that day.  You could give her a really good piece of costume jewelry if she used to play dress up as a child or plays it with her girls today.  Maybe you'll play dress-up with her later.  And if you give her something functional, like a kitchen appliance or a work item, without her specifically saying "Get me this"... well, dude, you're on your own.

8. Re-enact a memorable day - Women are much more cerebral and emotional animals than men are.  The smallest little hint of a past event can spur the great feelings of that day that day.  So why not give her a day she'd love to remember.  For one of our anniversaries, Liz and I went back to Fiddler's Elbow, the location of our first blind date. We agreed to try to act like we did that day.  We were able to keep in character for a while, but eventually we just reminisced about that great day and everything we were thinking.  And that night ended much differently than the first date did, in a very good way.  Just think back to the most memorable days of your life and do what you can to relive that date.  Trust me, she'll love it.

9. Cook her a meal - If you're not going out, then cook her a meal.  Cooking a meal is a great way to show your love.  Why?  Well, preparing a meal is providing sustenance for someone, and in the most basic sense, you're keeping them alive.  But more importantly, you're taking the time and effort to prepare something special for her.  That dedication can come through in your cooking and make it taste that much better.  It doesn't have to be extravagant, it can be just spaghetti, hamburgers and fries or a steak off the barbecue.  But take the time to do it.

And make sure you set the mood.  Put the flowers on the table.  Serve it on the china you received for your wedding that you never use.  Break out the wine glasses, even if you're not serving wine.  Light the candles and lay out the rose petals (destroy one rose) as decorations.  And when you're eating, make sure the TV is turned off so the attention is on her

10.  DESSERT! - This is the one time of year that dessert is mandatory.  Some people say that chocolate is an aphrodisiac.  Or that the sugar in the dessert give them you a sugar rush to be a little bit more ambitious.  Or maybe it's just a special treat.  But no matter what it is, get a dessert and SHARE it.  So when you reach across for a bite, you can look longingly into her eyes.

My choice for a dessert for a special occasion is a Chocolate Fondue, because you can dip all sorts of things into it... and use the remaining molten chocolate for other purposes later.  And my recipe for this will be posted on the site in just a few days....  WATCH FOR IT!!!  You'll thank me later.

Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

The ultimate comfort food.  Macaroni and Cheese.

When I was six, it was one of the few things I would eat.  Besides hot dogs, beans and a peanut butter sandwich, Mac and Cheese was all I would eat.

Mom would make a batch of Mac and Cheese with the Campbell's Cheddar Cheese soup, then slice in some hot dogs and serve it to the munchkins.

There was never the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, AKA Kraft Dinner, AKA Kraft Krap.  Sorry folks, I'm not being a food snob here, but I've never liked the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  I have nothing against it, no agenda against the Man or anything.  To me, it tastes like plastic stale Cheeto shavings melted over miniature pasta.  My wife likes it, I feed it to my kids, I personally don't like the taste.  And in a pinch for a quick meal for my kids, I'll cook up a box.

But if I'm craving the good stuff, I'll make this Macaroni and Cheese.  Yes, there's a lot of cheese in this recipe.  That's what makes it gooooooooooooooooooood.  But there are two secrets to the recipe.  First, you're not just relying on the cheese to thicken the sauce.  You're actually going to create a roux, which is a great way to thicken any sauce without creating lumps.  If you dump flour directly into a liquid, like milk or meat drippings, it'll congeal up like little tennis balls.  But if you mix it into a little fat, like butter and cook it for a few minutes, the flour and fat will intermingle.  The resulting roux will allow the flour to loosen up and thicken any liquid without flour clumps.

Second, adding the cheese slow is vital.  By adding the cheese in small batches and allowing it to melt into the sauce completely, you'll prevent the cheese from separating and getting too oily.  Just add 1/4 of the cheese each time and you'll be just fine.

Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

1 8 ounce package of elbow macaroni
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons freshly ground pepper
32 ounces (by weight) grated cheddar cheese
1/2 cup bread crumbs

Fill a stockpot with one gallon of water and set it on the stove to boil.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

Melt the butter in a large saucepan or saucier.  Sprinkle the flour over the butter and whisk it together.  Cook it over medium heat for about 3-4 minutes.  Pour in the milk and the spices and stir until to reach a simmer.

At this point the water should be boiling, so add the macaroni to the water and cook according to the package's instruction.

Back to the sauce... Slowly add the grated cheddar cheese to the sauce.  Add 1/4 of the cheese and slowly stir until it's completed melted in.  Repeat until all the cheese in incorporated.

Drain the macaroni and shake out as much water as possible.  Pour the macaroni back into the stockpot, then pour the sauce over the macaroni.  Stir until well combined.  Pour out in a large baking dish of your choice and cover with the bread crumbs.

Place the dish into the oven and cook for 30 minutes.  Let rest for 5 minutes and then serve to the horde.