Zucchini... or Eggplant Parmesan

Normally, I have a rather large garden in the backyard.  We'll harvest all sorts of squash for grilling, small cucumbers for homemade kosher dill pickles, fresh beans for some great side dishes, and a bunch of different fresh herbs for the spaghetti sauces.   This year, well, the garden crashed and burned.  More like "consumed and burned" thanks to the combination of a vole infestation from the neighboring construction lots and a very hot summer that scorched anything green.  Even my lawn is suffering.

Luckily, it's also the time of year where canoe sized zucchinis start anonymously showing up on our doorstep like Dickensian orphans.  Just the other day, my parents dropped off a 15 inch monster of a zucchini.  Now, we all have a great zucchini bread recipe.  And I've tried all sorts of grilling and deep frying variations.  Few things are quite as good as a fried zucchini stick dipped in a homemade ranch dressing.

But I was cooking up a batch of spaghetti that night and thought, "why not make a version of Eggplant Parmesan, but use the zucchini instead?"  This zucchini was almost as fat as an average eggplant.  The meat inside both are rather firm.  And if I broke out my mandolin, I could slice them to that uniform width to make them fry evenly.   This worked just perfectly.  The flavorful and slightly salty Parmesan coating worked extremely well with the tender and moist zucchini to make the perfect main course.

And this dish is even a vegetarian dish!  Yes, the lifelong carnivore has created a veggie meal.  Yes, it's not vegan because of the milk and egg wash, don't send me letters.  But it is a great substitution for meat.  You won't miss it when these medallions are drizzled with the marinara sauce.

One tool I would highly recommend you purchase to make this and a number of other dishes easier to prepare is a mandoline.  Not the instrument, the kitchen tool.  This is a plane with different blades that are either be inserted or adjusted within it tool.  You slide your food down the plane and the blade cuts them to identical, uniform widths.  Some have julienne blades as well, so you can produce perfect little strips of carrots for egg rolls, potato lengths for the perfect french fries or tomato, radish or cucumber bits for your favorite salad.  Yes, you could spend $100's of dollars for one, but you DO NOT need to.  I bought a Sharper Image brand mandoline at Bed Bath and Beyond for all of $20.  It does 1/8, 1/4, and 3/8 slices, and 1/8 or 3/8 juliennes.  For most of your basic recipes, that's all you'll ever need.  If you are looking for something a little fancier, you can find a number of other mandolines that are both very functional and economically viable in my Amazon Store.

One last bit of advice when using a mandoline... use the hand guard whenever possible.  It's there for a reason.  The blade in the mandolin are VERY sharp so it can cut through anything, including your fingertips.  I cut my hand preparing food for the first time in a decade because I thought, "Hey, I can freehand this so I can get that last little slice of potato."  Yeah.. not a good idea to freehand...  I freed a little part of my fingertip from my hand in the process.  So when you're using a mandoline, do one of two things.  Either use the hand guard that's supplied with the mandoline, or spend $10 for a Kevlar cooking glove.  It's Kevlar weave protects your hand from an errant slice while dicing vegetables, or from your own stupidity if you decide to freehand on a mandoline.

Zucchini... or Eggplant Parmesan

One batch of the Quick and Easy Marinara sauce
2 large zucchinis or eggplants, enough to produce 20-24 rounds
4 eggs
1 cup milk
1 1/2 cups bread crumbs
1 tablespoon basil
1 tablespoon oregano
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
Light or extra virgin olive oil, your choice


Mix up your marinara sauce and let it simmer while you work on the rest of the dish.

If you're using eggplant, peel off the outer skin.  With Zucchini, you can leave the skin on.  Slice the veggies into 3/8 inch rounds.  Mix the eggs and milk together in a bowl.  Pour the bread crumbs and all the spices into a large ziploc bag.

Dip the slices into the egg wash and then drop it into the bread crumbs and shake to coat.  Dip it back into the egg wash and back into the breadcrumbs for a second coating.  Lay the dipped slices on a cookie cooling rack while you coat the rest.

Place a large skillet over medium high heat and pour just enough olive oil into the pan to cover the bottom.  When the oil has heated up to around 300-325 degrees (should only take 2-3 minutes), place the rounds into the oil and allow them to brown for 1 1/2-2 minutes on one side.  Then flip them over and cook them for another 1 1/2-2 minutes.  Remove them from the oil and allow them to rest on another cooling rack with paper towels beneath to catch the excess oil.  Add a little more oil back into pan so the bottom is barely covered and bring the oil up to the proper heat again.  Repeat until all the rounds are fried.  Serve beside or on top of your favorite pasta with marinara sauce and grated Parmesan cheese on top.

So the next time a zucchini boat is delivered to your front door, turn it into a delicious Italian meal for the entire family.